Honesty

My two tiny reasons for honesty.

I now have a one month old, and a 20 month old. Why, why did everyone I know LIE TO ME?

Being a mother is hard, like scream at the top of your lungs, throw things across rooms, and then cry in the shower hard. No one tells you that there are days you will be so ashamed of the things you thought, did, or said while in the presence of your children. They tell you how much love you have, how much you will enjoy watching them grow... but no one tells you the honest truth of being a mother, a parent, a guardian, a provider of little people is actually hard.

I will give you a little insight as to how my day went.... Woke up to my "potty trained" daughter who wet the bed (hadn't done that in a week), my son crying to eat.... Normal. But, then my daughter tells me she wants to eat, but not what I make her... we have a play date... my daughter YELLS at the little boy to stop. Stop what I do not know... then once they leave she pees in her little cozy coupe, then tells me, "Uh oh, pee pee." So we clean it up, she says she wants to eat... I make her lunch she tells me NO, then throws it down to the floor, then she says pee pee, we go to the potty... nothing. Two seconds later she pees on the floor and then poops. I say do not sit down, she does. (Now remember I have a one month old who is eating during this episode and I have to lay him down to wipe her poop and then clean her) She then screams because she is dirty and wet, and then won't listen as I tell her to stay still. I now have a sh*t on kid screaming and crying, an infant on the floor crying in hunger and my nerves shot to hell.

What does a Momma do at 11:40 am? Oh, she throws the literal sh*t pants across the room while cursing at the top of her lungs. Classy I know. But, I said I was going to be honest. I was already done with the day. Then my sweet child goes to sleep. Then my infant falls asleep. I then vent to my husband for a half hour while he sits probably thinking chill lady.

I love this life.

Fast forward to about 45 minutes later, both awake, screaming, my daughter peeing on the floor after refusing to sit on the toilet because, "It dirty." Then Mommy's nerves being shot again, then storms, then well my having a complete meltdown by 6pm. I then attempt to get my daughter to sleep at 7:30, she doesn't go down easy. All I want is a shower, so guess what I take one, my son in the bassinet in the bathroom, and my non-sleeping angel standing by it saying, "Momma wet" I finish and both are now screaming again and I cry.

They finally go to sleep... I grab a drink (water) and sit and stare out the window and think wow, a chill pill is needed, and then apologize to my daughter for my behavior, and guess what baby boy wakes yet again. So, here starts my night of up/down.

Secret is - I love them. I love this blessed little life of mine. Granted I want/need a break (to potty alone), but it is so completely worth it. My daughter wipes my tears, she hugs me, she is amazing. My son is growing, and he is absolutely perfect. I am the mother to two amazing children, I have the good life. I know I may want to run away at times, but if I didn't have them in my day, I would be 100% lost. I thank God for my tiny miracles, and I thank God for my life.

So honestly, yes it is HARD, it is absolutely the most trying job, and it will break you into a thousand pieces. It is also the most rewarding job I have ever had. So, Mommy's let's take a moment and scream, cry, yell, and then smile. We are blessed.